The demise of America’s engine that couldn’t- Saab- to die out in the coming year

Unfortunately for us Swedish car lovers, Saab will officially seize production of its vehicles by the year 2011. Talks with the potential buyer of Saab failed, and now the world will never again know the beauty of the poor man’s Volvo.

As of December 29, 2009, General Motors is considering letting the brand linger past it’s December 31, 2009 buyout deadline. As those of us who watch the news, listen to the radio, or watch television know, GM was recently- and controversially- bailed out by the government earlier this year. Despite the generosity of President Obama and his goons of government misfits, General Motors is still struggling to survive. Execs of GM have recently stated that despite its efforts ( and we’re sure there were a lot of efforts) Saab will have to get cut in order to salvage what’s left of the Motor company. Well, at least they waited until after the holidays to break the hearts and wallets of Saab’s estimated 3,400 employees.

So what’s next for Saab owners? Many dealers across the U.S. have agreed to honor the brand’s warranties until the brand officially dies. As for employees of Saab? ………….if only we had the all the answers.

The Gran Turismo demo will be released on December 17th, 2009. On January 24th, the fastest racer from the US and Canada will win a trip to the Indianapolis 500. Wait, it gets better. If you’re in a select European country, the winner gets to enter the GT Academy and will be eligible to race a 370Z in the European GT4 Cup. Once again, North America gets shafted.

Look for Gran Turismo 5 in March of 2010. Then, after you’re disappointed, sell your Playstation3 and purchase an XBOX360 with Forza 3.

Ok, this is just a little rant. Around the beltway here in Virginia there are several areas where the good ‘ol VDOT construction has laid down solid lines that go on for maybe one eighth of a mile. It doesn’t matter why they are there. The fact is, they are, and some official deemed it necessary. Day after day I see commuters crossing these lines, making regular lane changes, oblivious to the the new solid markers. Did these people not take a drivers test? Do these people have no idea what they are for or are they truly just ignorant bandwagoners on their way to “Vote for change”? Maybe they’re making a statement. Something about crossing new lines? Oh for fucks sake. I wish I had a massive air horn from a locomotive strapped to my car so that I could lay on to these douchebags just as they start to cross. They’ll probably be startled, wondering what they were doing wrong. And that’s the problem, America, they don’t know. Lack of education.

Vote McCain 2008.

Everyone who has a car is looking for an inexpensive yet effective way to get it repaired or tweaked. Lets face it. Labor has become more expensive (my employer’s has gone up 31$ in 4 years!). On top of this, parts are more expensive, shipping is more expensive, and just plain doing anything besides breathing costs more. Now more than ever people are looking for ways to save. They have the choice of doing things cheap or not doing things at all. That’s where I usually come in.

I have time after work or on the weekends that I usually am available to do certain work on cars. I have an “agent” of sorts (ha ha) who usually brings me work, or sometimes I bring it in myself. Two minds are better than one for offering services. As a fellow car enthusiast, I know that modifying or even just maintaining cars can be steep now days. I like to be able to offer my work and expertise at a heavily discounted rate. I like being able to work on a variety of cars. I like being able to help people. Yes. Its that plain and simple. You’d think then that I get treated like a prince or that its all gravy. Well you’re wrong. Here’s my list of gripes.

People who have disgusting cars… Could you make it any more unpleasurable of an experience? I have to dig through your garbage to get to certain bolts or screws. A good example is when I have to remove rear seats to do rear suspension work. I find child seats on top of grimy cereal and gummy bears. These child seats are of course strapped in so tight that not even the mightiest of men could remove them. Then I have other items like soiled panties, cereal bowls, condoms, hair gels, and yes, even tampons. If I’m going to save you lots of money at least have the courtesy to clean your shit out. Also, please kindly remove child seats if you even think I’ll be working back there. You wouldn’t like working with that. Would you?

Head games… Now I’m a single guy and I’m always looking for a good date. I appreciate flirting and good company (even while at work). If you are a good looking girl with a great personality, please don’t get me all worked up and excited about a date for free work only to ditch me. Its wrong, so very very wrong.

Nit-picking… I like to make sure my work is good and I usually pay attention to details the best I can. I get a little mad though when somebody starts criticising certain things. Most cases, the parts are aftermarket and/or certain pieces are missing. Sometimes the cars are old and bushings or fittings come apart while work is being done. Shit happens on occasion. Then there’s the people who bicker about a car being 2mm lower on one side than the other, or alignments being a hair off after a drop. (I don’t have an alignment rack where I work, I do my best to get it dead-on, but its up to you to have it 100% aligned). You usually save at least $200 when I drop your car and my work is just as good as anyone else’s.

Inquiries… Please do not hit me up every hour with a new inquiry for work. Don’t blow up my voicemail or inbox with ridiculous question after question. Get it all together, and ask me once or twice.

Lastly, How you show up. IF you show up… Don’t tell me you’re going to be there and then not show up at all. If you don’t want to come, then at least contact me or my “agent”. I won’t be mad. Also, please do NOT bring your entourage. One person, One car. 

Thats pretty much it. I’m really a forgiving person, but sometimes the annoyances just become frustrating. Most mechanics or techs I talk to say they only do side-work on their mom’s car for many of these reasons. I don’t want it to be like that, I like working on various cars. I don’t ever want to feel differently.